Wednesday, December 9, 2009


Come see an awesome, fat-friendly show on Friday and/or Saturday, 10pm right outside Times Square!

THE FACEBOOK INVITE (with more info)

Maybe I'll actually get to meet some of you?! :D


Friday, October 23, 2009

I'm Soooo Bad at this Game.

Oooooof *course* I haven't written since July.

Let's play some catch-up, shall we? First of all:

-I had a GREAT time at my initial auditions for "Fat Camp", and was called back...twice? It was loads of fun and, though I didn't book it, it ended up with freaking Carly Jibson (read: ex-Broadway Tracy from "Hairspray" and Pepper from "Cry Baby") and Josh from "Electric Company"! See the successes of "Fat Camp" HERE--and yes, I am super-hoping to do that show in the future. ;)

-Not sure if I mentioned this eons ago, but I just finished a show playing Kate Smith! She was before MY time (dating myself, here), but I'm sure some of you grown-ups are old enough to at least have your parents or grandparents play her records and watch her shows. What was nice about it was that there was some great 1930s F.A. going on with that gal--and, though most people don't know it, she was never a dieter and never tried to alter herself. Oh, she was tremendously self-conscious and ashamed of her body. But she tried to deal with it and just be who she was and OWN it. I think we can all agree that she did pretty well for herself. :)

So, "Kate" just closed after 2 months, and during that time I also had some pretty fun auditions.

The time is coming, y'all, when there WILL be fat protagonists. Like, not as a hideously weird exception. I can't tell you how many more breakdowns and submissions I'm seeing asking for fat chicks who, yes, sometimes are, but aren't necessarily ALWAYS the butt of the jokes. And I'm totally cool with incorporating the fat-shame of society into stories with fabulous characters who happen to be fat.

*off soapbox*

Seperately, normal(ish) new blog here.

Not so long 'til next time. ;)

<3 Z.

Wednesday, July 15, 2009


I just got called in for this...and I am SO EXCITED!

New York Musical Theatre Festival: FAT CAMP

Aaaaaaand....yup. I was totally supposed to go to sleep, like, an hour ago. But the casting director e-mailed me and I've been reading the script and nearly peeing myself. NEWS TO COME! (Promise.)


Have I Mentioned... much I hate the phrase 'let yourself go'? Another just plain offensive casting notice. Uck!

All USA citizens/adults welcome to submit.
Shoot: 7-10 week shoot in Los Angeles
We're you once turning heads, but have since letyourself go? Especially seeking former beauty queens, athletes, rockstars, models &/or PEOPLE WITH COMPELLING STORIES.
NOTE: If you are right for this, please respond asap! We'll get yoursubmission to our Casting Producers & set up individual interviews.
When / Where: SAT, AUGUST 1 from 4 - 8pm at Galway Hooker, 1 E. 36thSt, NY, NY 10016 (b/w 5th & Madison). Bring two photos. One of you atyour ''best'' & one of you now.

"At your best"? PLEASE.

Sunday, July 12, 2009

Psycho Beach Party

'Sphere! How I've missed you!

I've been running around like crazy with the new show I just opened, PSYCHO BEACH PARTY at The Theater Project (Cranford, NJ). In it, I play Berdine, the uber-geeky best friend (and closet ninja) of the show.

I wanted to blog about it not only because it's an INCREDIBLE show that I really, really want all you NJ- and NY-ers to see, but also because it hits on a blip that I covered in my interview back in April (and that we always cover) the 'best friends' and 'geeks' of movies, plays, etc., always being done by the fats instead of the un-fats.

Berdine is ridiculously geeky and pathetically sun-phobic (uh oh, we're hitting a little too close to home here). However, what I have blessedly noticed over the past opening weekend is that she's also the audience favorite, and I've been described as playing her with "charm and gumption."

Berdine ends up having loads of humor that's more situational than self-deprecating, and even though she's the best friend, she's also delightful and stands with pride and dignity in her own right.

Of course, all this pathos isn't necessary for this 1960s parody of "Gidget"--it's just plain fun! For anyone who's local, please see if you can make this show. It's a splash!

<3 Z.

Thursday, June 18, 2009

The Sky is Falling!

Hey FOSers! I've been out recently because, well, life is insane and I've actually been booked through October. Soooo that's awesome. But I have a super-touching story for you.

So I did a show with this company last year, and it was fantastic and original and I loved every waking moment of it. This company is Art House Productions, in Jersey City, and I adore them. I had an incredible experience and am kinda sad to say that I didn't see them for almost a year until this 'happening.'

So, the director of my show last year (Jack Halpin, director of "Sea Story") e-mails me over Memorial Day Weekend and says, "Hey Jen, we're doing a staged reading of this play and we just thought you'd be perfect as the lead. Are you available?"

My jaw kinda dropped, because while I know they love me as much as I love them, I was still a little surprised that they'd consider me for a leading lady. Of course, I was even MORE surprised when I found that the lead was supposed to be a sultry, manipulative and sex-kitteny woman cheating on her husband. Um, really? You really thought of ME for this? (This isn't meant to be like I'm offended, it's meant to be ridiculously honored.)

So I moved the earth and moon and stars to do this reading, and I actually (were the play done proper) would have been a character with a LOVE INTEREST! Imagine that! And he's an adonis! And there's kissing, and sexiness, and everything! The experience was such a thrill for me, because I never get to do this stuff onstage. Of course, I'm the Mrs. Lovett or the best friend--which I adore, but it was really, really cool being the sexy, wanted leading lady. REALLY cool.

And, the best part is, it wasn't just cool for me. The reading was last night, and the audience response was INCREDIBLE. All these people from different theatre companies were coming up to me and saying, "Oh, you were so perfect! You just absolutely nailed it! You should do this as a full-out production!"

--and I was like, "Man...they actually BOUGHT it! They BOUGHT that the fat girl was the sex object!" In fact, I think that's exactly what I said to my darling man, word-for-word.

I *hope* that this is the kind of experience that all fat actors/actresses get at one time or another. Not just reading to yourself, not just in scene class, but actually PERFORMING as the love interest. It was so incredibly empowering, and I felt like I broke down walls last night. For my perceptions, for others'...just, WOW. :)


Wednesday, April 1, 2009

I'm an (Internet) Star! :D

One of my favorite industry ladies, the lovely Jennifer Jonassen, has honored me with one of her coveted interviews for Plus-Size Model Mag! How coveted? Well, she's interviewed Joy Nash, Carson Kressley, Marissa Jaret-Winokur... So I'm INSANELY honored!

(And, no, this is not an April Fools'. But I do need to come up with a real zinger for today.)

My Interview!

<3 Z.

Tuesday, March 31, 2009

Lovable Fatties on TV?!

(NOTE: I think this is possibly the show "More to Love"? Not sure if they're the same, or if this is its competition this season...)

Reality TV

Casting Director: Doron Ofir
Interview Dates: TBD
Shoot/Start Date: May
Pay Rate: none
Location: Los Angeles



From the Executive Producers of "The Bachelor" . . .

Finally, a relationship show for real people. Real women. Real sizes. Real love. It's about time!

Are you confident, voluptuous and genuinely looking for love? Our landmark television series aims to prove that the only size that matters is the size of your heart.

In this romantic competition of love and seduction, one big and beautiful woman will become the envy of all others and attain the love of a lifetime.

A Major Television Network has heard your plea and is ready to help.

Doron Ofir Casting is currently casting REAL women who are curvy, beautiful, sexy, at least the age of 25 and appear under 33 who are ready to be introduced to their soul mate.

Lead / All Ethnicities / 21-35
Beautiful Single REAL women who are curvy, sexy, sizes 12 - 18 and and all others welcome who are ready to be introduced to their soul mate.

Synopsis: A Groundbreaking Prime-Time long-form Reality Romance Series for Beautiful Full Figured Women.

What do y'all think?

<3 Z.

Sunday, March 29, 2009

My Play Needs Your Help!

Hello, zaftig, juicy readers! As previously mentioned, I am feverishly working on my one-woman play all about a.) being fat and b.) being a fat actor. What I would really like to do is infuse the play with some GREAT fat facts that debunk things, like facts posted by Kate & Co. at Shapely Prose, or on Sandy's Junk Food Science.

So....what are YOUR favorite fat-positive facts? Those that have to do with "The Obesity Crisis" (particularly bunko childhood obesity statistics) and actual health benefits will be the BEST!

<3 Zaftige

Friday, March 13, 2009

The Magical TV Debut!

Hey y'all!

So, I've been so busy popping my STARRING TV role to all my buddies, and I knew I was forgetting something...of course! The Fat-o-Sphere!

This is the job about which I spoke last summer, where I was a bride. So, very little commentary, let's get to the good stuff: Click on "Momzilla"!

(PS- If you watched "What Would You Do?" this past Tuesday night, you're already a step ahead!)

PLEASE let me know what you think!

<3 Z.

Friday, February 20, 2009

Planned Douche-hood

Hello all my FOS lovies! My apologies for having blipped out for a while...I haven't had much news, so I stayed low-key.

However: Exciting news! My embryonic one-woman show, which I was sure I wanted to be about fat, finally came to me the other morning at asscrack-o-clock in the shower. I was so inspired that I recorded all my jumbled thoughts on a digital voice recorder and plan to start the writing post haste. It has begun!

That leads me to today...which will surely have a place in the show.

So, thankfully, no one has outright told me to lose weight since my last asshole boyfriend nearly 4 years ago. (Besides myself, of course.) No other parties have been involved.

However, 3 months ago, I started my first birth control pills...mainly because I'd had my period for 2 months straight, and I was so irregular it was ridiculous. So I bought a few packs from my local Planned Parenthood. Before doing so, I had a whole checkup (and completely traumatic pelvic exam...another story, another time), including weighing myself. It was the first time I'd stepped on a scale since...oh, probably 2006, and I was kinda surprised that the number was 219. Last time I'd been on a scale it was ~185/190, and so I assumed that I was pretty much the same, because my clothes sizes have only gone up by small increments. Anyway, thank G-d I'm now a Fat Warrior, because seeing that number would have made me duct tape my mouth shut many moons ago.


So, when I went to this godforsaken PP in December, I was 219. Fine. My BP has always been fantastic, and I was told (of course) that after 3 months of pills, I'd need a check-up to make sure my health wasn't taking a nosedive.

I went in today to do sed checkup. The first thing the uppity nurse did was weigh me, and lo and behold, what is it? 224. The look that that woman gave me made me want to punch her teeth out. She pulled me into another room and took my BP, where she said, "Hold on, let me get the *other* cuff for you, so you'll be more comfortable." So she brings in the Fatty-Fatty-Fat-Fat cuff for me, which is attached to the most antiquated machine I have ever seen. She takes my BP: 120/70. Last time it was 110/70, but this number is still good. (I am hoping it stays that way, because these pills are making my sexual and reproductive life MUCH more pleasant.)

Then the bitch is like, "Oh, well, 5 pounds...that's quite a bit." (O Rly?) "You'll just have to watch all that fatty stuff and junk food!" *surreptitious wink*

Excuse me? Why are you winking at me? I am in on NOTHING with you, lady.

Then, bitch sends me to a *second* nurse. I'm not sure exactly what I'll be needing from her, but apparently it's *counseling* on my fat!

Now, I don't have to explain or defend what I choose to eat to anyone. I will say, just for the sake of the story, that I usually am a very heavy grains/fruit/veg eater, with dairy coming in right afterwards. I get lots of produce and I love it. Over the past couple of months, most of what I've eaten has been restaurants and fast food, so this MAY play in as a factor. Regardless, it ain't nothin' I have to VALIDATE to ANYONE.


So, this second nurse sees me come in, and she says, "So. Are we dieting and exercising?"

Before I ripped her a new one for indicating that I should diet, I calmly said, "I eat well and I walk a lot." (This has not been terribly true recently, but the last thing I'm going to do is provoke her.) She looked at me dubiously and I said, rather smugly, "I'm naturally fat."

She--like Nurse 1--says, "Mmm, well, you've already gained 5 pounds. Try to really be careful, we don't want that to keep going up!" At this point, she smiles and tries to gather me into this little chick-tete-a-tete we're having. I do not smile.

Am I *happy* that I gained 5 pounds? Not particularly. Am I upset that I did? Well, only because these nurses had the nerve to indicate that it was bad for me, despite my STELLAR (yes, STELLAR) health history.

I had not weighed myself for years because I used to be consumed with it. On top of that, if my clothes fit, I assume that I'm holding steady. If they don't, I assume that I'm gaining/losing. It's pretty simple. And I try not to care either way.

Well, guess what, bitches? My clothes that fit in December still fit now. Yes, a considerable portion of my food intake is currently coming from Chili's and Zaro's, but that is none of your business and entirely mine to feel *utterly* fine with.

LORD it took so much energy to keep from wringing their necks! I would have loved to lay them out with my F.A., but I've been off the feed for a while, so my F.A. trivia is running a little low.

Anyway, this has mainly been a ramble, but yeah: the first time the medical industry has approached me about my body in years, and YES: I am MAD AS HELL.

See you in my play, motherfuckers!