Saturday, July 26, 2008

ONE OF US! ONE OF US! (heeheeheeheehee)

Through a brilliant and wonderful career counselor that I am starting to work with (the quirky and lovely Erin Cronican with The Actors Enterprise), I am going through her blog's archives to catch up on all her news. I just found this from her October 2007: "Discrimination against plus-size actors."


It links to the glorious Jennifer Jonassen, who blogs at Plus Model Magazine, and this post. This makes me super-duper happy and excited, because she can now be another link in the chain of me, Joy, Marina and COUNTLESS other ridiculously talented fat women who deserve and DEMAND parts that defy the "shameless chowhound" role that we all get stuck in time and time again.

(Note: It might well be said that there are definitely better roles for fat character actresses as we age--and I very-much look forward to playing them when I'm older--but for now? Give me Juliet!!)

Jennifer offers a first post (very similar to my own) HERE, and I too will continue to follow her stuffs. I'm gonna post to her and try to establish a relationship; see how we can sort of be bi-coastal representatives, ya know?

Check her out--I know I will! (Maybe we can even wrangle her into the FOS ;-) )



Oh, come the funk on! If nothing else BLATANTLY says that being fat and healthy is a paradox..! (Or that thinness is equivalent to health.)

Important: I have been nothing but impressed and, frankly, very moved with all the stuff you other Fatosphere bloggers write. Whether or not it's particularly FA all the time, I believe a good portion of you are aspiring or working writers, and that's very exciting to me! I am under the most likely self-imposed belief that I DO NOT creative write and that I'm terrible. I don't think it's actually true, but rather that I've mentally locked myself into "I-haven't-done-that-since-I-was-10" mode.

Where is this going. Right.

Where this is GOING is: I am getting more and more convinced that I need to start either writing my own work or to workshop with others. If any of you are or have ever wanted to write work that was to be performed, I AM SUPER INTERESTED! Think "Fat Rant"-ish, or even something not so much an anthem as an FA-related performance. It could even be about beans! But most importantly, I'd love for my work to come from the soul of a fat woman. Not a thin man or woman or people who idolize those bodies; someone from skin like my own.

AND AND AND: My creativity has been in hyperdrive, and I've thought up some SUPER neat ideas. Which I would love to share with potential participants. :)


Thursday, July 24, 2008

Speaking of 'Walking the Talk'....

...I just found this. Does anyone think it could be a step in our direction? :-/ I too hope this is more empowering than stereotypical.

Thursday, Jul. 24, 2008, 10:55 AM Pacific




Presented in a festival of new short plays by the New Perspectives Theatre Company's
Women's Work lab. Will be presented on a bill with 2 other short plays.


[ ZAN ]
Asian American Female, mid-late 30s, full figured, but not particularly overweight.
Funny, dry
sense of humor.

STORY: Lexy Lee has the sneaking suspicion that she's "large for her breed".
She'll do anything for a major-league makeover. Or will she?




What, I ask you, is cooler than being cast in a PRIMETIME TV ROLE on ABC PRIMETIME NEWS for WHAT WOULD YOU DO?!

I'll tell you what: Being cast as a fat bride being ripped to SHREDS by her mom, and trying to see if people will intervene and put Momzilla in her place.


(Also, I would have accepted 'bunnies.')


Wednesday, July 23, 2008

Anyone Else Feel Creeped Out?!


The Conlin Company & Twins Talent

-Multiple Locations-

Reality TV & Documentary, Competitions, Modeling



Casting Notice Description:
‘THE GREAT AMERICAN BEAUTY’The Conlin Company & Twins Talent (prods.) are casting The Great American Beauty (working title), a new primetime show for ABC Television that will give beautiful people the chance to show America just how beautiful they really are. Lisa Ganz, casting prod. Shooting begins approx. early Sept. in a location TBA.Seeking—Beautiful Males and Females: 18-30, all ethnicities, beautiful and waiting for their big break, people are always complimenting their looks, who know they’re beautiful even if they don’t admit it, turn heads when they walk in the door, have gotten jobs because of their looks, uses beauty to get everything they want, loves to be the center of attention, so hot on the beach that everyone stares, comes from a small town or big city and ready to be noticed, knows they’re hot and wants America to know it, have gotten dates because of their looks, so beautiful it intimidates potential dates, so beautiful it has caused strains in their family, so beautiful that looks have prevented them getting a lucrative job. Note: Married, divorced, or single can apply; you can have children, to be voted the most beautiful person in America.To apply (or to nominate a friend), email ASAP, with subject “American Beauty.” Include your name, contact info, telephone numbers, current pix (full-length and close-up), age, where you live, and a brief description of why you would be right for the show. Meals and travel provided. Winner receives cash prize.



Friday, July 18, 2008


I had written out, like, 5 posts to write while my internet was down--but this supercedes them all!


I have the possibility of being a webhost (a la "Elastic Waistband"...which I was actually up for, FTW) for a women's network. I can choose from an array on topics of what I want to cover. CLEARLY we all know what that might be! Here is the letter to me from the producer:

"Dear Jen,

Thank you for responding to our ad in Backstage for the WebTV hosting positions. We are searching for women who would like an opportunity to host their own shows within a fun new women's site launching in several months. If you’ve got talent, this is a great opportunity to be seen and heard! The shows will be viewed within our site as well as within the sites of several distribution partners we’re considering. They can be between 2-4 minutes in length and produced within any number of areas including: relationships, beauty, fashion, health, fitness, comedy, documentary, entertainment, sex, travel, shopping, sports, college life, jobs, etc. The show content and focus is entirely up to you.

If you have a camera, we'll provide you with a Mini DV tape, or a memory stick and a return envelope to get you started. This allows us to test this concept to see if your ideas fit within our content parameters and if Hosting is really for you. We'll also provide the necessary instructions, forms and releases you'll need to get started and produce your own shows. If you're interested in exploring this further, please pick a date below for us to discuss the role and expectations of our show hosts, the show requirements, website, formats and much more in greater detail. We are happy to support many women in this role and would encourage you to apply.

We are very excited about the launch of this site and believe it will become an extraordinary destination for today's young women. I look forward to hearing from you and exploring your involvement with us. We've attached a PDF file outlining some of the fun entertainment coming your way!"

The question is: WHAT do I prepare? I don't want to get turned away for being radical. Any writings for me? Any ideas? Come and brainstorm!


Monday, July 14, 2008

Strangely-Familiar Characters

Well, I didn't realize I was getting comments, because apparently I didn't set my blog to notify me when they were made. Oops. I thank those of you who have commented, for stopping by, connecting, and wishing me luck on my various projects. :) I am so thrilled to be an active part of the Fatosphere!

As promised, I mentioned that these is always the fat condition of being cast BECAUSE you're fat. It happens everywhere, but we're clearly the ones who are almost always the butt of the jokes or the sad sack.


It is especially difficult to be cast when you are fat, but also vibrant--with a leading lady personality and voice.

What have people decided to do in lieu of this?

Alter their scripts to CHANGE THE ROLE. No, you read me right, and yes, I wish I were kidding. I don't mean this in the positive way, either.

I was in a short film a year ago, playing a lead who was depressed and about to drown herself at sea. The producer and director loved me so much, but--oh!--I'm fat, so let's make it that she's a FAT girl whose boyfriend dumped her because she's such a shameless chowhound, and that's why she goes to drown herself. Oh! But! It gets better! After her epiphany when she's taking herself out to sea, you cut to her personal rehabilitation, and she is....running.

Oooooooooooooof COURSE.

Because CLEARLY a fat chick can't just be depressed period; she must be depressed because people won't love her because she's fat. And to fix herself and make life worth living, she runs and loses weight.


Now, I can't stress enough to you the HILARITY of this situation--I was irritated and annoyed that they would do this, but the director and producer LOVE me. Adore me. Do not think ill of me in any way....except that I'm fat, and they therefore needed to justify my presence on-screen.

Not only did this happen in one film, but within a few months I was involved in yet ANOTHER film which took similar steps. I was auditioning for the role of a 15-year-old girl who had been molested and was now going through major shock. I had a rock-solid audition, and the director and producer loved me. They wanted someone with darker features, but they had a role for me, they said! I got the script, and in the middle of the story, I see my name as the character's name. Uh....what? At the time, I was also in a production of Richard III, and I'm reading...and the character says, "Hey, come see me in Richard III!"

Aha, you have MORPHED me into your screenplay. Clever.

(But ohdoesit get better.)

My me-character is trying to help a transvestite stop wrestling with himself and find peace. I thought it was just going to be this empowering conversation, but I'm reading, and I SWEAR TO GOD....


I admire you.





You look very happy and confident.

Being with you, makes me relaxed and comfortable.

You have magic!

How can you be so happy?


I learned.

Look at me.

I know my body…and I know the first impression people get from me.

Is the appearance so important?

Yes…I agree…appearance is the life of some actors.

But it doesn’t mean my dream has to be stopped due to my weight.

Acting is my dream; eating is my pleasure.

I enjoy being myself, and living the way I want.


Do you mind when people judge you?


I don’t care how people look at me before they know me,

but I do care how people value me after they know me.

Accept it or not, it is impossible for everyone to love me.

What I did, and I am doing right now is balance the fine line

between myself and the rest of the world.

You know one of the reasons I like acting…it’s because I can become someone else for a while, thinking differently, moving differently, feeling differently.

I convert myself into the roles with my soul, my passion, and my professionalism.

That’s the way I convince people beyond my appearance.

Besides, I know I have a good personality that makes people like me.

How much ridiculousness can possibly be fit into 2 minutes of text?! Now we know. Thankfully, no one else has tried to work my weight in as a freaking plot point--yet. But I needed to share these with you. At least this second one, as laughable and irritating as it is, still portrays me as someone confident, secure and pleased with herself--and being ALLOWED to be so.

I had a brain child some time ago about starting a theatre company that's expressly for fat actors (how do I weed out thinner people who think they're fat? Prerequisite: You must write on your audition form the most painful instance of others discriminating against you based on being a fat person). It would be an outlet for fatties to play leading roles, letting the general public FINALLY view us as people worthy of wooing, excitement, romance, bravery, tenderness,'s still on my pile. I sure as hell don't have the production monies, but if any of you other NYers out there have the dime and the time, send me a line. :)


Sunday, July 13, 2008

Being the Butt of the Joke (Or Not?)

This week, I'm filming an episode of a show that used to be/is again the twinner of Sesame Street--"The Electric Company." They were a more adult S.S., and taught principles of grammar and reading. They were popular in the early '70s and are now resurfacing. I'm very excited--this is my first TV bit--but I'm wondering about the implications.

If we imagine that there are 2 types of young, Caucasion fat gal: (1) being super outgoing and funny and the goofy gal who works it (i.e.: Tracy Turnblad) and (2) being the very cloistered, sheltered, outcast, self-hating fat gal, I am--both character-wise and in real life--very much the first choice. I'm too bubbly and happy, physically and personally, to be the latter. However, if I'm ever able to fool producers and casting directors, I could be cast as the second. That's what had happened in last month's movie auditions, and that's what's happening now, I believe.

I was cast in "The Electric Company" to be part of a group of nerds. They were specifically looking for Trekkie-types (which I am not), but I thought, hey! Maybe I can squeeze in if I play on my body shape! Lo and behold, they can envision the fat girl as a loner and 'square' and all that, and so of course I can be in the nerdy group.

I am very much looking forward to filming this week, but I constantly worry about spitting in the face of FA with my job. I am an actor; for the time being, I need to make my money being what society thinks fat people are. It's a damn shame, and we've seen it happen to all the fat actors out there--even worse when they get ridonk-skinny and change their tune. I do work with companies and people who challenge social stereotypes and think I'm marvelous, but they're still not as aware of the stereotypes and stimuli placed on fat people and how it hurts our cause.

I've worked with this in several projects, wrestled it; I have a post comin' real soon about some previous roles...

The good news? There are absolutely companies and people and artists of all sizes out there who think the way we do (or at least crudely), and who are willing to have a fat girl be a love interest or healthy know, any number of things that we're not otherwise allowed to be. The hard part is being able to make a living off them for the time being.

In my mind's eye, if I see large enough success, I see myself drawing attention to FA and the entire Fatosphere, trumpeting our purpose out over the airwaves and internet. Who knows?...

Maybe I should contact Joy about being co-spokesladies down the line. ;-)